Friday Spies: Without Fanfare Edition

1. What is the earliest movie you remember watching in the theater?

I can remember seeing the Care Bears Movie in the theater. This is probably because my mother has taunted me for years for going along with the audience participation sequence (something like the bit in Peter Pan when you are supposed to clap for Tinkerbell). Because apparently I was not cynical enough at five. I've certainly caught up now!

2. If you could strike one word from the English language, which word would you choose and why?

"Like." Because I say it, like, too much.

3. If you were a superhero, what would be your kryptonite?

See, this is a more difficult question than one might think. Your kryptonite needs to be something that's somehow tied to you and your powers and which your enemies have some risk of possessing, but it should be sufficiently rare that you can still be called a superhero. The aliens in Signs, for example, had such a ridiculous "kryptonite" that it ruined the whole movie retroactively.

So: to what relatively uncommon substance is my aversion so deep seated that it goes to the very root of my powers? As a superpowered capitalist defender and small government advocate, I can think of nothing more deadly than volumes of controller's reports documenting government spending. They are hopelessly boring, nigh on indecipherable, and document not only the scourge of taxation but the salt in the wound, government waste.

*Also, they are backbreakingly heavy, so even if you're not a superhero they can be flung as projectiles by an enemy and pose a a substantial risk of injury.

4. Would you rather win an Emmy, Grammy, Tony, Golden Globe, Oscar, Pulitzer, or Nobel Prize? What work would you win it for?

Well, of those choices, only the Nobel provides you with a cool $1.3 million in cash, so I'm going to pick that. I would win it for my groundbreaking work in preventing rape in Africa by arming and training women at risk. Then I would buy a yacht and put gun turrets on it.

5. What is your catch phrase? Don't have one? Then make one up!

I've always wanted a catch phrase. but how does one just coin a catch phrase? Shouldn't it be something you say a lot, or at least can see yourself saying a lot? There are many movie catchphrases that I mimic, but I don't generally go around saying the same phrase over and over hoping it catches on or becomes associated with me.

Oh, hell. How about "Cheese for Amber." At least that can get used any time I am presented with cheese, which is more often than you might think. And may I say, relatedly, that the fried Spanish cheese with honey and sweet onions at Dali is so delicious as to be criminal?