Friday Spies, Kung Fu Edition

Via the BTQ boys:

In case you're wondering, yes, we do consider it our fate to wander the Earth like Caine from "Kung Fu," doling out insipid questions so we'll have something to blog about. This week's wisdom, channelled via meditation from Master Po:

1. What's your favorite season?

Fall. I hate being hot, especially in regions of the United States in which air conditioning is sporadic, and three years in Boston taught me to hate winter. Spring is allergy season. Fall promises ever-cooler days and pretty leaves. Two thumbs up.

2. Do you have a green thumb?

I have a black thumb. I've killed cactus, aloe plants, flowering potted plants of all sorts and even those stripey-leafed toughies that normally thrive in office buildings. I want to start an herb garden but am certain I'll just kill everything. Sigh.

3. What is your favorite sport to watch? What is your favorite sport to play? Do you have a sports hero?

I like to watch basketball, although I don't really do so anymore (I don't really watch TV at all). My height makes it impossible for me to play that sport, and my general lack of athleticism takes care of the rest. Sweating is overrated. And people who idolize sports figures have their priorities in the wrong place.

4. Which would you rather be: Mayor, Governor, Senator, or President?

President, of course. I'd issue crazy executive orders, nominate Richard Posner, Janice Rogers Brown, and Akhil Amar to the Supreme Court, and veto bills left and right. I'd go on a whistlestop tour of the Southwest. I'd abolish agencies. It would be so much fun.

5. What are ten must-own items for single men and single women?

God, those lists are stupid. Everyone should have:

1. A recipe for an easy to make but romantic dinner.
2. Bathroom reading for yourself.
3. A comfy bathrobe for those days when you have the place to yourself because you're single.
4. Nice underwear.
5. Something that makes you smell good.
6. Diet Coke (not Coke Zero, which is foul swill the likes of which have not been seen since New Coke).
7. Clothes that make you feel sexy and confident, even if they are not expensive.
8. CDs of music you actually like (so the other person can get to know the real you, and even so you can introduce them to something they might not have heard before).
9. Friends who can give you tough love.
10. Books to lend.