Thursday, September 22, 2005

Men and Ennui

There's been a fair amount of blog commentary on Rebecca Traister's interview with Benjamin Kunkel (worth the day pass), but the best is probably Hugo Schwyzer's. I plan to read Kunkel's new book once the Clerksville library processes its copy and will report in a 50 Book Challenge: The Revenge post (will I read 50 more books before year's end? you'll see!). As someone with a lot of time on her hands, I found this bit from Hugo's post moderately inspirational:
"You're either transforming or you're stagnating. Those are your only two options."
Words to live by.

Some money quotes from the interview:
The idea is that dating should lead toward mating, and spread out before us is this array of choices that should lead toward a choice you can feel secure in. But I think the opposite happens. You become familiar with disposable relationships. So though they seem to be conducting you toward permanence and mating, in fact they're just inculcating a habit of serial monogamy.
Love, historically, has been associated with a sensation of destiny. It's very difficult for us to attain a sensation of destiny where love is concerned anymore, because we think we can always look for something better, which is essentially a shopper's mentality. There's no destiny when it comes to buying pants or shirts or a dress. . . . I think that tremendous passion that we feel other generations had and that we missed was attached to a sense of destiny, and of permanent love that would survive changes in station and opportunity and fortune.
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