Friday, July 01, 2005

Friday Spies: Fitz-Hume Falls Down on the Job Again Edition

1. Is Tom Cruise correct that we're not alone in the universe?

I hate to agree with a Scientologist, but it seems probable that there are other places in the universe with life. Whether that life is sentient, has space travel, or at one point blew up the earth in a volcanic holocaust is debatable (okay, not that last bit--that's just silly). But if there is life on other planets, it is probably not humanoid with funny ears (thanks, Trek).

2. What is a fashion trend that you would like to see go away, and what is a fashion you would like to see come back in style?

I am tired of tans being in. Whatever happened to the good old days, when pale skin meant you were part of the upper class and never had to sully your skin by laboring in the sun? Someday overworked office monkeys will install UV lamps in their cubicles so they can tan and collate at the same time and then the pendulum's gonna swing my way, you melanoma-contracting weirdos.

3. I was going to ask what city will win next week's vote on the host of the 2012 Olympics, but everyone knows it's going to be Paris, so I decided to tweak it: What city that you have visited (or lived in) would be a good Olympic host city, and why?

I don't think there's such a thing as a good Olympic host city because I hate the Olympics. Why athletic competitions must all be held simultaneously in one venue is beyond me. Any city that wants to take a gamble on bringing a massive security risk and potential money loser to their city that will leave them with a bunch of useless arenas for the forseeable future is welcome to it. Losers.

4. Happy Canada Day to our readers in the Great White North! In light of that holiday, and our own upcoming Independence Day, tell us your favorite Independence Day memory. (And yes, those of you in other nations can use whatever national holiday you celebrate.)

I used to set off fireworks every July 4th with my dad. He was usually drunk and had little respect for the law, so his idea of a festive time was buying an armload of explosive and incendiary devices from some toothless wreck in a trailer on the roadside, driving until we saw an empty field with as little dry grass as possible, and blowing them up. Ah, childhood memories.

5. The Supreme Court ruled this week on one set of commandments, but we want to hear yours. What are the Ten Commandments of [X]? Pick a topic and reveal its ten most important rules. Phrasings with "shalt" appreciated but not

The Ten Commandments of Law School Blogging
I. Thou shalt not post about your exes by name.
II. Thou shalt not post about your professors by name.
III. Caveat: if thou hast a famous professor or classmate, thou shalt compile juicy lists of quotations and post them.
IV. Thou shalt not write anything under thine own name thou wouldst be ashamed to hear read back at a confirmation hearing.
V. Thou shalt not make sweeping statements about which group of D.C. interns has better love lives because people get really touchy about that stuff.
VI. Thou shalt not post detailed accounts of debauchery. Save this for thy"Brush With the Law" style tell-all.
VII. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's GPA, nor his law review position, nor his position with Wachtell, at least in print.
VIII. Thou shalt not post drunk.
IX. Thou shalt not lie to the prelaws.
X. Thou shalt use thy blog to pick up hot lawbloggers.
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