Do the BarBri Bounce

I don't know why I care (except that I paid their inflated antitrust violating fee and damn well expect service in return, or maybe because I actually thought I might not have failed this essay because I understand Civ Pro), but I was immediately thrown from a happy Kissing Day mood to violent rage when I received this email:

From: civpro.cabarbri@barbrigroup.com
To: Amber
The last date for submitting the Civil Procedure essay for grading has passed. Please review the sample answers in the GAA book. If you have any further questions regarding the essay pelase [sic] call 1-800-995-5227 and ask to speak with a staff attorney.
Thank you,
The Bar/Bri Staff

The deadline is today, you lazy bastards. Just because the California class schedules are a few days ahead of ours (which is, I suppose, what permits us to view their taped lectures) does not mean that the essays are all due on the same date. How could they be?

I called and left an enraged message, but of course they won't call me back. They didn't the last time. I hope whoever is responsible breaks out in angry, painful boils.

UPDATE: In a totally shocking instance of customer service by BarBri, I received a phone call (noon on Thursday) from an actual BarBri-employed human to say that all essays will be graded if timely submitted, regardless of their stupid auto response emails. Why the auto response is not simply turned off is anyone's guess.