Sunday, November 09, 2008

Mixing Company and Pro-Intellectualism


PS: I forgot to mention, the dinner between The Dude and Friend Dude went really well. They both like each other and got along well. Because both are snarky bastards, I should have expected that they would bond over their mutual hatred of many things, which I am glad did not include each other. I thought that TD, who gently chides me for being a theory-obsessed, pointy-headed academic (I study organizations, he works in one--not that he's anti-intellectual, which I think should be a future topic of discussion), would not like my academic-y friends. I thought that FD might think of TD, who works in finance, as a corporate sell out. I have very little faith in humanity, which includes my friends. I really need to correct this failing about myself. I worry so much that people won't get along (I have been burned too many times in the past by naively mixing personalities at parties, like the time a French dude kept complaining about America and Californians and thus offending all of my friends) that I have over-corrected by keeping perfectly nice and reasonable people apart.

TD even gave FD some financial advice on something or the other. They bonded over some weird music that they both like. TD is working this weekend, so our quality time is limited and I am glad that part of it was spent meeting a good friend and sharing in my weird little academic world. Whenever I meet his colleagues, I am shy and quiet and do not know how to include myself other than in idle chit chat. I blame this on my introversion and the sudden shyness that comes when I meet a lot of strangers though, and not on gender roles. Although I am probably known as his baking girlfriend at work, given the weekly cookies and cakes he brings to work. I remember at one party his CEO thanked me for being supportive of TD's late nights working. Cough.

TD, however, has been really great about being interested in my work and helping me think out issues re my dissertation, and doesn't mind when conversations veer off into academic-y territory--he jumps right in and talks about clarifying my independent variable! I need to learn how to do that, except that his shop talk is even less accessible than my shop talk, even as the current economic meltdown has given me something more macro-level to talk about than leases and project financing. I wonder how the non-lawyer partners of lawyers deal with shop talk. Dang, I feel sorry for y'all. I finally know what it feels like, since this is my first adult relationship outside of college or law school, and I am wondering what his office Christmas party will be like, what to wear, what to say, etc. You rarely see the spouses of academics accompany them to school colloquia, receptions, etc., since they're usually during the day or too early in the evening for working partners to attend, and it's just not as common in my experience.
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