Books I Don't Read

- Romance novels
- Glorified New Yorker articles beefed up to 150 pages so they can sell for $24.95 in hardcover
- Russian authors, classical and contemporary*
- Those free books I got in college . . . you know the ones
- Philip Roth or Toni Morrison
- Biographies
- Chick lit with pink covers/clip art graphics of legs with fancy shoes
- Fiction by David Foster Wallace
- Hemingway or Faulkner

Also:
- Books about the ____-American experience
- Magical realism
- Police procedural thrillers like you see advertised on the subway (you know, A is for Aggravated Assault, in the movie adaptation the bad guy is played by Andy Garcia and Sandra Bullock is the Mary-Sueish female detective)
- Political nonfiction (some of which are also #2)
- Cormac McCarthy

Feel free to gasp in indignation and tell me I'm wrong.

* Includes that Absurdistan guy but not Nabokov.