Everything you wanted to know about Juche but were afraid to ask

Jason Kuznicki highlights this bizarre FAQ about North Korea:

1. Can I get a signed photograph from Leader Kim Jong IL?

Soon the KFA shop will offer such article.

2. Can I send a letter to North Korea and get a penpal in North Korea?

You can send the letter if you have an valid address and contact person. We provide no service for penpal friends.

3. Can I emigrate to North Korea and live in North Korea?

It’s possible only in very special situations and having honor/merits. You must send a request letter stating your reasons, together
with your complete CV, copy of your passport and certificates to korea@korea-dpr.com

4. Can I work in North Korea as a teacher/interpreter/(other)?

No.

[…]

8. Can I travel to North Korea as a backpacker? (Independant travel)

No. You must travel as a group only, even if you are the only participant you must be with Korean guides at all times.

9. Can I join the Korean People’s Army?

No, only Korean nationals with DPRK citizenship

[…]
18. Is North Korea a ‘Stalinist’ state?

The term ‘Stalinism’ is highly loaded and is most frequently employed not as a descriptive term but as an insult. The DPRK political system is based on the Juche Idea, a theory developed by the late President Kim Il Sung stressing national self-reliance and development according to the unique characteristics of individual nations. ‘Stalinism,’ on the other hand, was articulated as a universalistic political ideology. The DPRK is indeed a socialist state, meaning that all the means of production are socially owned. However, the central implication of the ‘Stalinist’ accusation–simply that the DPRK is a dictatorship–is inaccurate. Korea is a socialist democracy guaranteeing its citizens the full range of individual liberties and rights provided by many liberal regimes, and more.