Sunday, March 18, 2007


I have always wondered (probably because I don't smoke) why people don't use nicotine patches for weight loss. It wouldn't work as well as smoking, but it would be cleaner and more healthful.* And although the grossness of actually smoking keeps me away from cigarettes, the psychoactive effects seem desirable. So the first thing I thought when I saw an ad for nicotine hand gel in Vogue was, "wow, I want that." (The second thought being "combine this with Purell and every Starbucks in NYC may go out of business.")

Then I realized it would be really pathetic to start smoking because you're a nicotine addict who is out of hand gel, which is exactly what would happen to me.

* You would, however, have what amounts to a dirty Band-Aid stuck to you at all times: hardly glamorous. See also the birth control patch, the recommended placement locations for which seem like they would be oddly conspicuous while actually doing anything naughty.
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