Friday, July 10, 2009

A dream deferred?

More blogfodder from Ta-Nehesi Coates's site, this time from the comments to his discussion of Steve McNair's death and the need for men to take more account of the risks of sexual and romantic activities:
The piece-on-the-side realized that she wasn't the ONLY piece-on-the-side.

I'm still waiting for them to reveal that she was pregnant.

Then again, maybe she was just a delusional 20 year old who thought she had hit the jackpot, only to be told, "We're just having fun."
That "then again" sounds right, but I don't like the subtle misogyny of "hit the jackpot." After all, men will use an implied promise of a better life and material wealth as a way of getting sexual access, then renege when they get bored/are done. At 20, you aren't delusional - you're just naive. ...

I have an open question for readers: the person who broke your hearts the hardest, whom it took you the longest to get over, were they higher on social and economic ladders than you? Or were they lower?
Part of the trauma of losing a relationship is the trauma of losing the imagined future with that person. One can mourn that miscarried future, and whatever security it might have brought, without reducing the beloved to a meal ticket or a leg up the social ladder. Does this reflect your experiences?
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