Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be

Two perspectives on being a woman who writes about sex online.

I don't write about sex, mostly because I like to keep some things private, but also because I find it really troubling that the best way for a woman to get attention in the blogosphere is to be titillating. It's hard to walk a line between a frank discussion of sexual politics and realities informed by personal experience and a more confessional style that seems to bring the oglers out of the virtual woodwork, so I choose to stay firmly on the more conservative side. But that I do so out of fear of attracting the wrong kind of attention and of being slammed for my sexuality (because women can't win, as Amanda notes: someone will attack you as either frigid or slutty) is itself shameful.