Monday, September 05, 2011

In which wedding shopping eats my brain

I'm looking at veils and and having flashbacks of LSAT logic games, except without logic and with insanity. (N.B. I only care about certain wedding things, one of which is my clothes. If every decision was like this, I would explode.)

Bride wants to wear a veil during the ceremony and the reception. What veil(s) should Bride buy, given the following constraints?

Bride must wear a chapel-length (70"+) veil during the ceremony.
Bride cannot wear an unbustled chapel veil during the reception.
Bride can bustle a chapel veil by attaching a clear loop to the underside of the veil comb and pulling part of the veil through it to shorten.
No layer of the veil at any time can be between 18 and 25 inches long.
No layer of the veil at any time can be more than 80 inches long.
Bride can wear a bustled chapel veil or a birdcage veil during the reception.
If Bride wears a birdcage veil for the reception, she can buy either a firm silk or a soft silk chapel veil.
Soft silk looks less like nylon, which is the point. 
If Bride tries to switch veils, there is a significant chance that Bride's hair will get trashed.
If Bride bustles a chapel veil, it should be made of firm silk, lest it wad up like a towel on her head.
If Bride wears a single-layer chapel veil, then the number of layers when bustled is three, with the bustled loop either on top of or beneath the end of the veil.
Unbustled single-layer veils look better with edging than without.
If Bride wears a double-layer chapel veil with blusher, the number of layers when bustled is four, with the (edged?) blusher layer fully covering the bustle.
Four layers sounds pretty much opaque.
But maybe so is three.
Opaque is probably okay with scattered crystals.
Opaque with unseen edging is a waste of money. 
Soft silk cannot have crystal edging or scattered crystals.
Birdcage veils have scattered crystals. 
Bride likes shiny things.
Chapel veils can be gathered or ungathered. Gathered is better with firm silk than soft silk.

Which veil purchases are the utility maximizing choice for Bride? [number of veils, veil length, veil material, number of layers, gathered/ungathered, edging/no edging, crystals/no crystals]
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