I should drive to work.

To the girl who sneezed a three-inch gobbet of snot on my pants leg on the Metro: thanks for waiting until the departing woman in the next seat informed me of it to apologize. Also, thanks for offering me a napkin to remove your bodily fluids and then refusing to take back the napkin once I managed to clean off your little present. I do so enjoy holding strangers' snot until my stop.